Unemployed, again

Time to get real. Today is my last official day in the office. A couple of weeks ago, my boss and I began a discussion that has ended in a decision to part ways. It's been hard not writing about this, but I needed to keep it confidential until the details were confirmed.

Transitioning into unemployment is both very similar and very different than it was a year ago. Last year my initial reaction was shock, heart-break, confusion. I didn't see it coming. But I also had lots of help: severance, a job outplacement consultant, and a network of untapped resources for informational interviews and job prospects.

This time around, I knew it was a possibility that things wouldn't work out. And when it came time to part ways, it felt right. Of course, it's still been difficult. This time there's no severance, no professional help, plus the awkward situation of telling former colleagues, friends, and acquaintances that I'm on the market...again.

All the old, familiar fears have floated up out of the woodwork like animated ghouls: "You'll go broke! No one wants to hire you! You're a looser! You'll never get a job in this economy!" Oh, and all the paperwork! Filing for unemployment. Transferring retirement accounts. Canceling...anything that can be canceled to save money.

And yet, there is also the calm, steady voice from within with its reassuring counter: "You're going to be okay. This part of your life has ended, but a new part is about to begin! You are one step closer to realizing new goals, new dreams, a new life."

So, I will go into the office today. I will pack up my picture frame, shoes, and extra coat. My bowl and bamboo utensils. The stapler I bought with my own money. I'll hand over my files, my key pass, my laptop. And I'll say goodbye to the dedicated, amazing souls that made working there a pleasure.

Then, I'll walk down the stairs, into the lobby that I first entered almost a year to the date. But this time, when I walk through the door, it will not be to an office and coworkers and business. It will be to a cool spring breeze, new flowers, blue skies and the old steady magnolia tree in its glory once more. And I will be okay.

Transition = Creativity

Today I was feeling absolutely giddy. The spring weather teamed with daylight savings meant one thing: change. And it made me realize something, it's not just spring that I feel this about. I also love the transition from spring to summer, summer to fall and fall to winter. I love the change from day to night and night to day. The transition from high school to college, college to work, from one city to another, and from job to job.

Some transitions last only a few minutes (bye-bye sun), others take a month or so (hello spring!), and still others take a few months (where's my new office?) Transition, in my experience, has been a huge opportunity for creativity. Take for instance, my pregnancy -- sort of the ultimate 9+ month transition -- during which I got a masters degree, worked full time, and wrote a collection of poetry. There's just something about the uncertainly that makes me more alive. When I'm outside, I hear the birds, I notice the miniature purple flowers in the grass, I smell the thawing earth. The old routines are gone and so I am forced to step outside of my experience.

That's part of the reason why I find unemployment so interesting. As Rob Taub pointed out in our Q&A last week, "A layoff is the perfect time to assess where you belong... most people never do. Many employed professionals are misaligned in their careers but lack the time or energy to do something about it. Unemployment frees you up to give full attention to defining what it is, clearly, that you CAN and WANT to do, WITH WHOM, for HOW MUCH and to WHAT END."

Unemployment (especially in the form of a layoff) is a gift that some people will never experience. When I look back at the past year and how much I've learned as a result of having to find a new job -- and then transition into a new job -- it's overwhelming. Had I stayed in the same place, my experiences would be no where near as diverse.

So, if you're unemployed right now, free yourself to fully embrace the uncertainty. Take advantage of it. Use it. Sit in it. Let it thrill you a little. Let it scare you even. Let it do what it will to get you to the next place.

And in the meantime, pick up a novel or memoir for motivation. Travel literature, for instance, is all about transition, living on the edge of uncertainly, excitement and creativity...

• Don Quijote : The first novel, ever. A coincidence that it's also one of the all time best books about transition & travel? I think not.
  
• On The Road: Makes travel seem very affordable: loaf of bread + salami = enough food to cross America. Well, maybe only if you're Jack Kerouac.
  
• Candy Freak: Travel + vintage candy = Steve Almond classic. Any book w/ jacket copy like this is worth a read, "...explores the role candy plays in our lives as both source of pleasure and escape from pain."
• Eat, Pray, Love: Elizabeth Gilbert makes transition look devilishly fun without loosing its sense of uncertainty. She keeps it real.