New Home for Love Your Layoff

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Wish List File

Two significant things happened to me this week. First, I got my files in order (thank you Kacy Paide of The Inspired Office !) I now have folders for: unemployment, writing, networking, office work samples, and creative work samples. Plus, one more: the Wish List. While most of my files are dedicated to past or current projects, only the Wish List is truly forward looking. In it, I'm placing reminders of the things I want to do when I'm employed again.

And that leads me to the second significant thing that happened this week. I did a Google search on Love Your Layoff, and discovered an endorsement from the poet Jessica Smith on her LookTouchBlog. What really moved me about Jessica's post was her own story of unemployment, having to go stretches of time without a paycheck, and how recently worries about money have slowed her writing.

Jessica's life inspires me in so many ways. Her dedication to writing and publishing poetry is something I never had the guts to try.

My first reaction to her post was anger at the world for not being more supportive of poets. But then I realized that it was not the "world" that needed to be more supportive, it was me. That poetry was something I loved, that I admired Jessica's work, and I hadn't done enough to support it when I was employed.

So, the first item I added to my Wish List file was a copy of Foursquare as a reminder to purchase a subscription when I'm employed again--ditto for 32Poems and Flim Forum press .

Now here's the challenge: if you're unemployed, take a moment to consider what you would like to support when you're employed again. What's really important to you? Who has inspired you? What programs, organizations, artists or writers have changed your life? Then start your file. Perhaps there are ways you can help already. Things that don't cost money, such as volunteering or even writing a nice thank-you note. I guarantee it will make you feel good.

And, if you are employed, maybe there are some organizations and people you can support today. Make a list and act on it.

New Routines

Yesterday marked the start of my new unemployment routine. Awhile back I had a post about Routines to Savor Time (RTST), the basic concept being if you're unemployed take advantage of the time by incorporating some routines to achieve creative, practical and/or physical goals, which is something I did last year. This time around, my routines have taken a bit longer to cultivate. Still, I thought I'd share them here to: a) solidify my commitment, and b) hopefully inspire you to consider some routines of your own.

Drum roll please for the 2009 routines...

• Memoir: Write a 300 page memoir at the pace of 1,000+ words per day
• Blog: Write 3 posts per week
• Exercise: 5x per week, alternating running and weight lifting
• Clean: 1x per week, entire house
  
• Visit: Free parks, museums and entertainment, at least 2x per month
  

These routines, of course, are in addition to actively seeking work each day, submitting applications and networking. It's important to strike a balance between the two. Because, on the one hand, you should take advantage of your time off and schedule relaxing activities. On the other, you need a job.

What I've found helpful is splitting my day. I use the morning for RTST to achieve my writing, exercise and cleaning goals. The afternoon is completely dedicated to finding work. And, oddly enough, I find I am more successful at both tasks when there's a finite amount of time to achieve them per day.

Within that structure, setting mini goals, such as "write 1,000 words before 7:30am" or "apply for one position per day" or "attend a networking event 3x per week" helps you to feel a sense of control and accomplishment often lacking during a span of unemployment. Try it, and let me know how it works for you!

Unemployment Haircut

Eight weeks ago, I got my last hair cut. It's been bobbed since the fall (I know, I need to update my headshot). And I love it that way. However, as mentioned in a previous post, maintaining a bob is expensive. When I had long hair, I got it cut one every 3-4 months. The new haircut requires maintenance every 6-8 weeks.

So, when I went in today I had to tell my hairdresser that I was unemployed, and, as such needed a cut that would look okay growing out. She walked around me, picked through some strands of my hair, and looked pensively into the mirror.

"Okay," she said. "We'll just clean it up. And, lets do some sweeping bangs. I trim bangs for free, so we can still see each other while you're looking for work."

That was music to my ears. Particularly because today has been one big headache. I woke up at 6am to write and was on a roll till 7:30 when the house wakes up and the morning routine begins: diapers, dressing, brushing, breakfast, driving, drop off. By the time I got back and settled, I opened my computer to continue, and...no Internet.

Needless to say, the rest of my morning and afternoon were spent alternately trying to:
a) fix the problem
b) do things that didn't involve the Internet (run, shower, clean)
c) visit places that have Internet (two coffee shops, so far, and currently in one)

All the while trying my hardest to be patient, thinking: the universe must want me to take a break. But I wanted to trail blaze today, so we were at odds.

Anyway, I love my hairdresser. It took me years to find her. What's more, we both went through some crappy but life altering moments these past two years. She was in a car accident that nearly killed her and took her out of work for 9 months.

When we first met, we were both hard chargers. Cramming our days with activities. Taking lessons, fixing up houses, getting ahead in our careers. Today, our major topic of conversation was naps. She takes an afternoon nap every day and was highly recommending I incorporate one into my daily routine. Which does sound tempting.

An hour later, my hair looked fresh again. She showed me some drying tricks for home. And, very kindly, gave me a discount on the cut. Another example of friends going above and beyond. And while the rest of the day has had its ups and downs that one small hour was bliss. Almost as good as if I'd actually taken a nap.*

*Update: I caved and took a real nap. Feeling 100% again. Plus, the Internet came back on!

One month down, ready to hustle?

Today marks the start of my fifth week of unemployment. At this point last year I had two job offers, plus strong leads for two additional positions. I was a hard charger, pushing forward, determined to get a significant pay raise, an impressive title, and the flexibility to pick my child up from daycare by 5:30pm. And after three months, miraculously, I had that.

This time around, every thing's different. While I've done a couple interviews, the results have been slower. Some companies are waiting for funds to arrive to hire for their vacancies. Others are so inundated with resumes that only the applicants in complete alignment with a niche are considered. Positions at organizations that have had layoffs are considering people who were laid off first. To make matters worse, I've heard from several people who were hired only to be laid off months, or even days, later.

Like my house it appears my worth has depreciated -- despite the fact that I have more skills and experience. There's simply less demand. As a result, I am expanding my job search to include freelance and temporary contract work. Or, as some of my friends like to call it: hustling.

Now, as any of you who have been on unemployment are well aware, you must report any money you make as a contractor to unemployment. Any amount earned that week is subtracted from your check. So, it's important to be selective about the types of work you take. Otherwise, you'll waste time better spent on networking and applying for full time positions--not to mention your routines to savor time.

Before accepting freelance work, ask yourself these questions:

• Does the project excite me?
  
• Is it in alignment with my professional (or personal) goals?
  
• Will I meet people in a position to help me find additional work or a permanent position?
  
• Do I have the proper equipment, software and resources available to complete the job?
• How much time will this take me?
  
• Is it worth the money? And how/when will I get paid?
  
• Will this project be too stressful to manage while I'm looking for a full time job?
  

If you like your answers to the questions above, then sign the contract and start working. If you don't like your answers, then by all means, don't take the gig. You will have other opportunities. Trust your gut. Remember, you've only got six months to collect unemployment benefits. After that you're truly on your own and won't have the luxury of being selective. So use your months wisely.

Escaping the Doldrums

I'm not going to sugar coat it. Today was a really tough day. It was one of those days, inevitable in a job search, where hope seems futile. A day where no amount of previous effort seems enough. Where interviews were mercilessly rehashed in my mind. Where my email box was devoid of good news.

I spent several hours this morning writing and rewriting a blog post that went no where. I had lunch with a very nice woman, but neither one of us seemed to have the right connections for the other. I walked home from lunch in a DC heat wave, sweating and crying. No hope. No hope. No hope.

Upon returning to the house, I sat back down at my computer. Looked at all the job boards but found nothing of interest. Sent follow up emails to some friends. Ate a hand full of Oreo cookies.

I had entered a total, utter, state of self-pity.

It reminded me of this scene in one of my favorite childhood movies, The Phantom Tollbooth, where Milo gets stuck in the Doldrums -- a sticky, gooey, kind of drugged out place where nobody does anything. To get out of the Doldrums, he has to do useful things, such as spell words or recite multiplication tables.

And perhaps I was channeling that scene this afternoon. It started with the memory of a promise I made to a friend of a friend to help him find a summer internship in DC. I dug the email up and read his resume (which impressed the socks off me). I brainstormed a list of people who might be able to help him. I wrote a pitch email and sent it out.

Next, I saw one of my good friends had just created a LinkedIn account. I logged on and wrote an endorsement. While I was on, I remembered two other people I wanted to endorse and posted recommendations for them as well. Then, there was another friend of a friend looking for work, and I realized I had a great contact for her and emailed a request to connect.

By this point, it was 5:15, and I needed to dash out to daycare. While I was there, I was talking with the woman who watches my daughter and discovered that her daughter was searching for a summer internship at a hospital. And, again, a friend came to mind who might be able to help. Got home and sent another email out. Oh, and then there was another wonderful friend of a friend, who wrote asking for some fundraising help. Again, I thought of someone right away!!!

And just like Milo was able to pull himself up out of the Doldrums in The Phantom Tollbooth, I pulled myself out of a really crappy day by helping others. While it's true that my search went nowhere today, I like to think that I helped someone get a step closer to their goals. Plus, I got myself out of the Doldrums.

Get Recommended on LinkedIn

Yesterday, I dedicated my morning to a surprisingly fun activity: endorsing people on LinkedIn. Actually, I got started by asking people to endorse me.

For the longest time I ignored this function on LinkedIn, fearing it would be too time consuming for the recipient and uncertain as to whether anyone would accept the request. As it turns out, my fears were completely unfounded.

For starters, of the eight colleagues I sent requests to six agreed to endorse me right away. Of those, five have already submitted their endorsements, all in the course of 24 hours! Which means I now have a recommendation for every job I've had since graduating college. But here's what really struck me: the warmth, generosity and sincerity of the recommendations people wrote. Many of whom I have not seen in years.

These endorsements were an excellent reminder for me of what I do best. It's one thing to write a list of qualities you embody in your work. Quite another to see what you're remembered for by colleagues and business partners. And knowing your strengths is a path to greater self-awareness and success in life.

But the real joy for me was reciprocating the gesture. Endorsing my colleagues brought back memories and a true appreciation for the talented individuals I've had the pleasure to work with over the years. It's nice to see how people have grown and flourished in their careers. I am so proud of the work they are currently doing and the amazing work that is yet to come.

Whether you're employed or not, I highly suggest dedicating an hour or two to endorse former colleagues and classmates. And don't be afraid to ask people to endorse you! LinkedIn manages the process with ease -- if you've never endorsed, or requested an endorsement before, here's a quick overview:

Request Endorsements:

• Click the "Request Recommendations" button under your job title
  
• Select a LinkedIn member from your contact database
  
• Next, there's a form letter -- delete that and write a personal message to the recipient (Note: do not enter a name, LinkedIn automatically inserts "Dear [contact's first name]"for you although it doesn't show it to you in the form letter)
  
• Once your contact has entered an endorsement, you will be alerted via email and instructed to review and "accept" the endorsement -- nothing is posted publicly until you approve it
  
• After you accept the endorsement, you are immediately prompted to reciprocate the gesture and endorse your contact
  

Submit Endorsements:

• Visit recipient's LinkedIn profile and click "Recommend" beneath the company where you worked together
  
• Next, there's a form where you can submit the recommendation
• Write a brief (2-3 sentences is fine) entry with a focus on positive attributes and qualities of the person you're recommending--also remember to state how you worked together, particularly if this is not apparent from your job titles at the time
  

Earth Day Resolutions

Being unemployed is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate Earth Day to the fullest this year. And as I was pondering just what to do, I came across a Tweet from Whole Foods announcing a "simple green resolution" contest on their blog. The idea is to commit to one simple green resolution to start on Earth Day (to enter the official contest, visit the Whole Foods blog).

This inspired me to make some green resolutions of my own.

1) Stop using disposable bags. For some time, I've taken reusable bags to our grocery store, but I need to start using them for all shopping trips. To that end, I have two, compact bags that I carry in my purse. It's my mission this year to use them for all purchases!

2) Stop using disposable soda & water bottles. Luckily, giving up caffeine makes this resolution much easier. Still, with summer on its way, bottled water become ubiquitous at outdoor events. I think the key here will be planning. Drink plenty of water before leaving the house, and make sure to put some tap in a reusable bottle.

3) *Visit Theodore Roosevelt Island. Ever since moving to the DC area, I have gazed with curiosity at Roosevelt Island -- that small, easily missed National Park to the side of the GW Parkway in N. Arlington. This year I'm going to finally cross that footbridge and take a look around!

If you're unemployed like me, I hope you'll consider spending some time outdoors to celebrate nature today (even if in the rain). If you're at work, allow yourself a break to walk outside and appreciate the flowers, birds, and other creatures in your environment. Look up at that big beautiful dome of sky and think of the massive, endless space beyond it. We are living a little miracle here on Earth. Lets protect and appreciate what we've got.

*Addendum: I did, in fact, make it to Roosevelt Island today. Note to others considering a visit: bring a friend! It's a bit creepy walking around alone. That said, I saw the most amazing Pileated Woodpecker directly upon arrival -- a not so subtle sign that this is a place worth visiting.

Filing for Unemployment

If you've never filed for unemployment, the thought alone could quicken your pulse. Last year I had visions in my head of long lines, cranky government employees, piles of paperwork, and an entirely bureaucratic, outdated system that I would have to fight tooth and nail to get benefits. Well, I am here write: that could not have been further from the truth.

Compared to getting a passport or drivers license, obtaining unemployment benefits is remarkably easy. Or, at least, that has been my experience in Virginia (last year) and DC (this year). Both have a simple online submission process that requires minimum information and effort on the part of the filer. Once your account is established, your only work (aside from the obvious) is filing a weekly claim. Here's where Virginia and DC vary in their forms, though. Both require you to apply for a minimum of 2 jobs per week, but only Virginia requires you to enter specific information on the jobs in the weekly claim. While the extra step is annoying, I did feel an odd sense of security having my stats on file with the state. This time, I'll have to remember to keep a written account of the jobs I apply for, in case DC wants it. But, in the meantime, filing online takes less than a minute in DC -- and I love that.

Furthermore, once your claim is approved, it can be direct deposited into your bank account. Easy, easy, easy! The flip side is that you don't get very much money. My weekly payment is about what I made in a day at my last job. But, every little bit helps.

Some people don't file for unemployment out of pride. They consider it a benefit for "other people". I think this recession is starting to change that perception though. I mean, look at me, I've got a bachelors and masters degree. My last title was chief operating officer. And, yet, I am on unemployment right now, like millions of others across the country. There's no shame in that. There's no shame in saying, I did my best and now I need help.

When I was younger, I used to think: couldn't these unemployed people find work somewhere, doing something useful? Retail, food service, entry level office work. And while it's true, it might be easier to find something if you look outside your field, it's equally true that taking a job you hate is the quickest trip back to unemployment. It's a vicious cycle. Better to take advantage of the resources available to you, empower your search, and find a job that excites, motivates, and pushes you to the next level. Having a regular, albeit small, unemployment check each week is one such resource.

What I'm Giving Up

Unemployment is a time to consider what's essential. Last year when I was laid off, I had a really generous severance package and with lots of job prospects, I felt pretty secure with moderate adjustments. I reduced my gym membership to a restricted hours plan. I cut my allowance in half. We ate out less.

This time around, I'm not quite as confident. For starters, it's possible I'll be out of work longer than the 3 months it took me last time. And without severance, things get real pretty fast. I'm erring on the side of caution and giving up as many non-essentials as I can stomach. In particular, my entire allowance and entire gym membership. If you read my entry about working out for less then you know giving up the gym is not a big deal. I'll run and lift weights at my house for free.

Allowance is the real sacrifice. When my husband and I first got married, we opened a joint checking & savings account, but also opted to each keep a private checking account. All individual purchases come out of this account: clothes, shoes, haircuts, makeup, dining out, classes, entertainment, gum, magazines, books, music, etc.

Luckily, I had a bit of reserve saved up before becoming unemployed, which should get me through the next couple of months if I'm frugal. In the meantime, it's a fascinating study in what is and isn't essential to spend money on in the short run.

• Clothes: I shouldn't need to buy new clothes. I have enough suits for interviews and jeans and t-shirts to wear around the house. Nonessential
  

• Hair: My hair is really short right now, but no job = no bob. I'll need one last trip to the salon to get things evened out and ready to grow. Semi-essential
  

• Makeup: I don't wear very much, but I stockpiled the expensive stuff at a Christmas sale. All the rest, I buy at the beauty bodega down the street for less than $6 a piece. Semi-essential
  

• Entertainment: First, DC's full of free museums and many lovely parks. Second, my bedside drawer is stacked with books I haven't read. Third, we've got NetFlix, TiVo and various online viewing options. Nonessential
  

• Eating out: This is both an easy & hard one. It's extremely easy for me to eat what's in the house. On the other hand, one expense that's always worth it (especially in unemployment) is connecting with people over lunch and drinks. Essential
  

All told, this is a pretty lush life. And while I guarantee there will be times when I am lusting after some object...be it shoes, clothes, or gadgetry...I'm going to try very hard to keep things in perspective and wait. I know what it's like to have credit card debt, and I don't want to experience that again.

Refinance Denied

Five years ago my husband and I bought a severely neglected 1940s era condo/townhouse. The windows were shattered, the bathroom destroyed, and the kitchen a virtual cockroach morgue. And yet, at the tender age of 25 & 26, we saw potential. We also thought it might be our last chance to buy something. The market was steadily rising above our means.

The first year in our home we saw drug deals on the street and sidewalks littered with used condoms, diapers, and half drunk 40s. We had neighbors knock on the door asking to borrow money for beer. A cop stopped my husband, on a walk with our dog, to say: "This is a bad neighborhood. Better walk your dog somewhere else, buddy."

Undeterred, we focused on what we could control. We replaced the windows, the back door, and the bathroom. We tore up the cheap carpet and refinished the hardwood floors. We removed the kitchen cabinets (and the shower of cockroach carcases behind them). We replaced the banister and the radiator covers. We painted the rooms. Put wood blinds up on the windows. Bought a new range for the kitchen.

And as the years passed by, the neighborhood started to prosper. New owners made similar improvements to their units. The condo association hired a professional groundskeeper. The condo board became more pro-active. And a really cool collection of neighborhood kids started hanging out in our cul-de-sac -- skateboarding, riding bikes, playing games -- adding a sense of community to the place. More neighbors moved in with dogs and kids.People learned each other's names.

And I suppose with all of the improvements to the external and internal landscape of our life here, I thought we might have some hope of refinancing our home this year. We didn't enter the process blindly. We stay current with housing prices on RedFin and Homes Database. We're aware of foreclosures in our neighborhood. So, two weeks ago, I cleaned every inch of our home. Decluttered, organized, vacuumed, scrubbed. I bought flowers. I baked cookies.

My husband and I attentively greeted the home inspector. Pointed out all of the improvements to our home. The place never looked better in its history. And I couldn't help feeling a sense of pride. We had transformed this modest crack house into a warm, inviting home. We had done everything possible to make this place presentable. There could be no regrets.

And I think that's why I cried when we got the estimate. We bought our home in 2004 for $235,000. In 2005 and 2006, similar condos in our association went for well over $300,000. In 2007, it dropped to $270,000. And now, here in 2009, our home is worth an estimated $145,000. Refinance denied. We would have saved $450 per month on our mortgage had it gone through. That would have helped ease the burden of being unemployed.

I know this is not a unique story. People all over the country are experiencing it. And I could be mad at the banks for irresponsible lending; or borrowers for irresponsible dept; or the government for allowing it to happen. But, in truth, I am responsible. The buck stops here. We haven't been lucky in many respects this past year or two, but it's material. We've got our health. We've got each other. And, really, we've got a home that is so darn full of love I can't help but feel joy in what we've accomplished here. It reminds me of that old camping adage: leave your site cleaner than when you arrived. We've done that here. We're living it. Regardless of what it is worth, we came here and made this house a place worth living in.

Vacation Patience

Last week I was out of town for a long anticipated vacation. Even though it was only my second week unemployed, I committed myself to the break: no job hunting, no Tweeting, no blogging. This would be a true break from all work.

And, you know what? It was really hard. As much as I wanted to stay present and enjoy every millisecond of my break, those creepy, lingering thoughts popped up in my head:

"You're not working hard enough. You'll never be able to afford another vacation. If you don't Tweet, blog and email this week, people will loose interest. You're just one in a billion people looking for work right now, and those people aren't on vacation."

Meanwhile, I'm in a visual paradise. Ocean views out the front window. Steps away from a nature preserve of wetlands speckled with egrets and a driftwood beach. Gorgeous 70 degree weather, sunny with a light breeze.

I still got lost in my thoughts, replaying interviews and responses in my head. Plotting out action steps. Fretting over details.

One thing that did help: I made a conscious effort to observe my thoughts. Each time I started to wander into a critical, self-defeating diatribe, I could hear another voice calling out in the distance:

"Give yourself a break, Katie -- you're on vacation! There's nothing you can do about the past or future. You're living now and you're in paradise."

And now I'm back. Sitting on the old couch in the living room, looking out at our budding dogwood tree. The world went on while I was gone. It was good to have a break. And it's also good to be back: blogging, Tweeting, emailing. Enjoying the work that is my life right now. Trying to be patient as the future unfurls itself like the buds on our tree.

Social Networking and The Organic You

It strikes me how completely different the start of my job search is this year than last year. For starters, social networking. I know there have been a million blog postings and articles about this already. But it's one thing to read about it, quite another to experience it.

Where as last year, I sent an email announcement to friends and colleagues that I was looking for work, this time I put it in my status on Gmail and Facebook. I Twittered. I blogged. And the responses came in, just the way they did last year. So what's changed here? Different methods. Similar results. Well, yes...and no.

Getting leads is about the same. But the process after that is different. This time, I'm prepared for employers to follow me on Twitter, read my blog, friend me on Facebook, join my network on LinkedIn. They will have access to my hobbies and pastimes, causes and interests, past jobs, current thoughts, future aspirations.

And, there's something very organic and lovely about that.

Because, after all, humans are not very good at describing themselves. I could write you a novel about who I am, but you would get a more accurate view by:

• observing my interactions with friends;
  
• seeing how I align myself to causes, interests and ideas; and
  
• reading my thoughts about topics other than myself.

That's why a cover letter and resume only tell a very small part of the puzzle.

I'd like to think that this "organic me" available online is a better representation of my potential as an employee. That if a company takes the time to see me in my native surroundings, they will know pretty quickly if I'm in alignment with their company culture and ultimately a good fit for their team. And that's what I'm really searching for in the next job, the ideal alignment of my interests, goals and aspirations with that of my employer.

So, if you're thinking of hiring me: thanks for visiting. This is me -- the organic Katie Kemple.

If you're looking for a job (like me), I suggest embracing your organic online self and be active!

• Showcase your interests: Blog, Tweet, and comment about things you love and care about. What's important to you and when is the last time you sent a link, posting, or comment about it?
  

• Increase your interactions: Show future employers how you collaborate with others, lend support, and share ideas. Are you a team player online? Do you comment on other people's posts? Do you offer help?
  

• Follow prospective employers: Read their blog posts, follow them on Twitter. Discover who they are organically online. Do they have a similar hobby? Are their work ethics and philosophy in alignment with yours?
  

Unemployed, again

Time to get real. Today is my last official day in the office. A couple of weeks ago, my boss and I began a discussion that has ended in a decision to part ways. It's been hard not writing about this, but I needed to keep it confidential until the details were confirmed.

Transitioning into unemployment is both very similar and very different than it was a year ago. Last year my initial reaction was shock, heart-break, confusion. I didn't see it coming. But I also had lots of help: severance, a job outplacement consultant, and a network of untapped resources for informational interviews and job prospects.

This time around, I knew it was a possibility that things wouldn't work out. And when it came time to part ways, it felt right. Of course, it's still been difficult. This time there's no severance, no professional help, plus the awkward situation of telling former colleagues, friends, and acquaintances that I'm on the market...again.

All the old, familiar fears have floated up out of the woodwork like animated ghouls: "You'll go broke! No one wants to hire you! You're a looser! You'll never get a job in this economy!" Oh, and all the paperwork! Filing for unemployment. Transferring retirement accounts. Canceling...anything that can be canceled to save money.

And yet, there is also the calm, steady voice from within with its reassuring counter: "You're going to be okay. This part of your life has ended, but a new part is about to begin! You are one step closer to realizing new goals, new dreams, a new life."

So, I will go into the office today. I will pack up my picture frame, shoes, and extra coat. My bowl and bamboo utensils. The stapler I bought with my own money. I'll hand over my files, my key pass, my laptop. And I'll say goodbye to the dedicated, amazing souls that made working there a pleasure.

Then, I'll walk down the stairs, into the lobby that I first entered almost a year to the date. But this time, when I walk through the door, it will not be to an office and coworkers and business. It will be to a cool spring breeze, new flowers, blue skies and the old steady magnolia tree in its glory once more. And I will be okay.

Strangers Lend a Hand

Yesterday when I was reading a Wall Street Journal article on strangers helping strangers find jobs an incident from several years ago came to mind. I was at a diner in Georgetown and had just finished my meal when I realized, to great embarrassment, that I'd forgotten my wallet at home. As I started to explain to my server what had happened, a gentlemen seated further down the counter offered to pay for my meal. I will never forget my feeling of gratitude towards that man for his simple act of kindness.

Having been unemployed several times, the experience transfers. At first, there's a sensation of fear, realizing you no longer have income. Then, you're explaining your situation to people (networking with strangers). And, seemingly out of the blue, a person hears you -- really listens to you -- and offers to help. It never ceases to amaze me that it happens every time. How friends of friends extend their network, former colleagues, spouse's colleagues, neighbors, acquaintances from daycare, old friends from high school and college, and now even virtual acquaintances via Twitter, LinkedIn and the rest.

It's made me realize that I was never truly alone at that diner in Georgetown, and you are not alone either. That this hidden network has always existed, sitting silently on all sides, waiting for the word to step in and help out. That people are pulling for you. That they want you to succeed.

So, if you're unemployed right now, let the shock wear down, start telling people your story, and eventually you will find someone who's listening, someone who has been, in fact, waiting to hear your story.

And if you're employed, open your ears to the conversations around you. Need surrounds us in small ways and large. When we open ourselves to hear the message, we can create better outcomes for everyone, whether it's buying someone lunch, offering a smile, or actually helping a stranger find a new job.

Workout for less

Gym memberships have been on my mind lately. Last year when I was laid off, I had just joined a high end fitness club: individual TVs on all the equipment, towel service, good shampoo, and disposable razors (not that all of my time was spent in the shower, but you know what I mean). And it was the one luxury I could not give up. Instead, I switched to the "matinee plan" which basically meant my hours were restricted to the times when the gym's empty (11am-4pm weekdays, 1-8pm weekends) and that suited me just fine for the months I was without a job.

A year later, I'm starting to rethink the gym membership. For starters, I rarely go anymore -- but not for the reason you're thinking. I don't go because it's more convenient and enjoyable to workout from home. After months of exploring classes, doing circuits on the machines, and trying really hard to enjoy the elliptical, I honed down my workout to two activities: weight lifting and running. The funny thing is, both require next to no equipment.

Dumbbells
Lets talk weight lifting first. In December, I bought this book: Men's Health Ultimate Dumbbell Guide by Myatt Murphy. I bought it because I wasn't seeing results with the weight machines at the gym and I didn't feel like shelling out money for a trainer. I also bought it because the instructions, routines and equipment were simple. The pictures were uncluttered and showed both men and women doing the exercises. As someone who has never been formally trained in dumbbells (or any other weight lifting) this was *so simple* to understand. Total investment was about $30 for dumbbells and $19.95 for the book. Results? AWESOME! In just 2-3 sets per week of the beginner routine, I saw major changes in the first month. Far better than the months of machine work that yielded next to no results.

Running
Next, running. Well, I love running. I'm very slow (11 minute mile, people), but it's one of the most satisfying activities to do outside. It relieves stress and burns calories like nothing else. Plus, there's not too much you need to know, aside from a few good stretches at the end. Investment here was $50 for running shoes and $50 for an iPod shuffle (I need music to run.) Again, outstanding results in a short period of time. Just about all of my pants are loose after a few months of running for 30 minutes 2-4 times per week.

Annual Cost vs. Benefit
My at-home workout of weight lifting and running, which yielded noticeable results, totaled $150. My gym membership, on the other hand, cost $960 for the year, and didn't have much of an impact. So, if you're in the middle of a layoff, or just trying to cut back, I suggest doing a cost/benefit analysis of your exercise expenses versus results for the year. You might discover that it's not much of a sacrifice to ditch the gym membership.

For some additional ideas on how to workout for less, check out this article from the San Diego Union Tribune: "Survival of the Fitness".

The jobs I didn't get

My husband often makes fun of me because I'm constantly cataloging events of the past and infusing them with meaning. Case in point: jobs I didn't get. There are several jobs in my career history that I applied for and really felt I should have gotten, but did not. In each case "not getting the job" paved the way for a bigger, better, or more interesting opportunities. Coincidence? You decide...

The first time around, I was a 22 year old promotion assistant at a TV station in Boston. After about a year on the job, I saw a listing for a position in the station's LA branch writing descriptions of TV for the blind. As a creative writing major and TV lover, I instantly thought it was the perfect job for me. Plus, I was dying to leave Boston. I interofficed my resume to HR and gave my boss a heads-up that I might be leaving soon (cocky, right?). A few weeks passed and nothing. Then, the job's no longer posted. Then, I found out someone else in my department got the job. So, I stayed in Boston and a mere two months later met my future husband at a birthday party (hey, it would have been impossible to attend if I was living in LA).

Next time around, I was a 25 year old cultural arts publicist looking for a new job (preferably one that did not mandate grueling weekend & night performance duty in addition to 9-5 office hours). I applied for a PR position at a local hospital. Made it past two rounds of interviews and felt primed to go all the way. Sent endearing, perfect thank-you cards to all involved. Two weeks later I found out they picked the other finalist. Darn. But then four weeks later, I was offered a PR job at another TV station. where I really wanted to be.

And finally there was last year, I was a 29 year old laid off mom pining over a position at a national broadcast agency. The job description felt like I had written it myself, that's how closely aligned it was with my goals and experience, but what I didn't realize (what I couldn't have known) was that the job was specific for a reason: they had an internal candidate. I didn't even make it past the first interview. The afternoon I got the email was one of my lowest in the job hunt. But (as mentioned in a previous post) a mere five hours later I was offered an invitation to apply for a position as COO of a multimedia non-profit. And you know where that got me...

In short, the universe acts in mysterious ways. Sometimes you just have to accept that what seems like the right fit, is not. There's something else in store for you.

Big house, little house

Last month I went to a party at a mansion: high ceilings, full bar, personal gym, screening room, pool, you name it. One of my friends (not the owner) was showing me around and at the end of the tour, turned to me and said, "Is it wrong that I want this?" That question really struck me. It lingered for days in fact, perhaps because of my childhood.

When I was a kid, I wanted one of two things, to either live in one of the tiniest places possible (I had fantasies about living in this vacant Fotomat booth in our grocery store parking lot) or live in a mansion. There was no in-between. Coming from a regular (albeit, charming) middle class, two story home, I wanted to experience something different.

As it turned out, wish #1 came true. I live in a place slightly larger than a Fotomat booth, smaller than my childhood home, but no where near mansion size. And you know what? I love it.

And so, when my friend posed this question, "Is it wrong that I want this?" it made me wonder, what if things had turned out differently, what if I'd gotten the mansion instead of the townhouse? To my surprise, the mansion suddenly felt like the lesser of the two options. And believe me, it had nothing to do with the house where the party was hosted, which was hands-down gorgeous, but when picturing myself as the owner, here's what came to mind...

• Containment: With a gym, pool, bar and cinema, I would never have a reason to leave the house. And one of my great joys in life is leaving the house. I love chance encounters, sharing spaces, and allowing little diversions to add adventure to my plans.
  

• Cleaning: Big houses take longer to clean. I guess if you own a mansion, you hire someone. For me, cleaning is meditative. A weekly rite that takes exactly one blissful, soul searching, hour.
  

• Things: Lots of space means lots of things, and I only like to own a few things. In fact, I'm constantly plotting ways to get rid of things.
  

• Empty rooms: Mansions have more rooms than people. Even in my parents' house, having more rooms than people kind of freaked me out. I can't sleep thinking about all those vacant spaces.
  

Fate put me in the right house. And in these lean economic times, I'm grateful to have small tastes. The world outside our doors is so big. It kind of makes you wonder why so much attention is put on houses in the first place. We no more own these dusty walls than a tree owns soil or a bee owns air.

Fail Faster to Succeed Sooner

This weekend I stumbled across one of those rare gems in the blogosphere: intersected and its creator Jamie Varon. Ms. Varon is a woman with her priorities in order. She started a job, spent two weeks there, realized it wasn't worth it and quit (w/o another job lined up). What has she done since then... hmmm, started an awesome blog, become a guest contributor to Brazen Careerist , and created a campaign to get hired by Twitter. My opinion? This lady doesn't need Twitter to hire her. She's found her calling. Check out her site for some no-nonsense, follow your passion, get the job of your dream advice.

In the meantime, I thought it would be fun to examine my job search under Varon's "6 Ways to Not Play it Safe " framework. Last year, I actually got a little high minded and set a motto for 2008: fail faster to succeed sooner. Of course, I didn't realize just how soon the universe would help me achieve the first part of my motto by unexpectedly laying me off...three weeks after returning to work from maternity leave.

So, anyway, I pretty much dedicated my year & job search to not playing it safe. But did that philosophy work in my favor? Here's how I measure up against Varon's 6 rules...

1. Go against what everyone tells you to do
Example: Turned down job offers while still unemployed, holding out for a "dream job" and "dream salary."
Result: Got offered a "dream job" and "dream salary" two months later.

2. Listen to your heart and not your logic
Example: My logic told me, "You are under qualified to take this position!" My heart said, "Who cares? You'll learn! Take the position!"
Result: Took the job. It wasn't all pretty, but I learned a hell of a lot more than I would have had I taken a "safer" position at a more established company.

3. Put yourself out there
Example: Arranged informational interviews with anyone who would take my call; put myself in uncomfortable situations; and pitched my skills to strangers.
Result: Awkward? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely. I met people who became mentors; received useful advice; and ultimately scored a job.

4. Dance on stage, sing karaoke, be a volunteer at a magic show
Example: Became a regular at a weekly poetry open mic. Read my work to a crowd of strangers.
Result: One of my poems was published on a bus. Met some cool people. Wrote a poem everyday for a month. Allowed myself to feel okay with reading stuff that wasn't perfect.

5. Be clear on your dream(s)
Example: Wrote down my dreams at the start of my search. Then proceeded to have an actual dream (like at night) that not only predicted my exact salary (okay, w/in $500), but also the location (two blocks south of the building I would work in, and the only landmark in the area I would have recognized in a dream).
Result: Offered a job in alignment with the dream description and the "dream" salary & location.

6. Fail
Example: Despite doing everything humanly possible to get a job at one of my favorite organizations (a job I was out of my mind convinced I'd get), I failed to even make it past the first interview (that really hurt). I bawled my eyes out.
Result: A mere five hours after getting my heart crushed, I got a job offer to be the COO at an innovative start-up.

The long & short of it?
Not playing it safe will get you places. Varon's list is a useful frame work for job searching & life. The challenge is to keep up the momentum. To continue to push yourself to the limit. To never stop dreaming. To be uncomfortable. To take risks. To fail faster to succeed sooner.

Bad Day

Well, it's pretty rare, but even I have bad days. Today was one of them. Nothing seemed quite "right" today. And I'm not going to blame situations. It was me. By about noon, I was feeling contracted, defeated, and depressed. So, I went across the street for a cup of tea. Then, with tea in hand, I started to journal through my frustration. Writing always makes me feel better. Whatever situation is troubling me starts to loose its power as it enters the page.

And it got me thinking, what exactly is a "bad day"? How could a "day" be "bad"? Shouldn't every day be appreciated? Shouldn't every day be loved and tended to as something precious? Something rare even? Now I'm going to get a little esoteric and say that I feel all the elements that make me "me" have waited billions and billions of years to live this very day. It will never return again. And here I am wasting it! Calling it "bad" when I should be honoring it.

And as I was pondering this, I started to feel myself expand. Leaving the coffee shop, I looked at the people I passed and smiled -- my lungs filled with air and released their worry out into the wind -- the day was light and the world brimming with possibility again, opportunity ripe for the taking. This was not a "bad day" it was a "day" and there were still many things I could do to make it a wonderful day, and exciting day, an outstanding day -- to do justice to the opportunity to live a day such as this -- to walk out any number of doors -- not into war or rain or famine -- but into serene white clouds, people respectful of each other, soft cool breezes tickling my hair.

This blog is about embracing a layoff, but it's also about embracing the unknown, living in the moment, and engineering more opportunity via optimism. This does not mean, however, that it's always the easy choice. It would have been easier to blame people or situations. It would have been easier to throw a fit. It would have been easier to eat a box of donuts or drink a double espresso. The hard work is realizing and appreciating what is and loving the small moments of the day when truth reveals itself to you. Often it is the "bad" days that give us the most opportunity to seize the moment and learn from our frustration.

So, in honor of "bad days" and Friday the 13th, I challenge you to convert a "bad day" back into a "day" where anything and everything is possible (as it is).

• Change scenes -- get up from where you're sitting and find a peaceful spot...whether that's your bath tub, a walk around the block, a library, a convenient store, a park...wherever you feel you can release yourself from your worries and fear for a moment. Write, drink a cup of tea, read something inspirational, stare at the rows of soda bottles or books or gum. Or simply close your eyes, sit, and be in the moment.
  

• Take a deep breath and say to yourself, "I'm having a hard time, but I know that this is temporary and that I will feel better eventually. There must be something of value today."
  

• Think about the opportunity surrounding you. What would make this a "good day"? Is there something exciting you could do? Is there something nice you could do for yourself or someone else? Would a change in environment help? Would a change in projects or focus help? Would seeing or talking to someone you love help?
  

• Acknowledge the world around you. Hear something. Smell something. See something. Taste something. Ask yourself if you are in pain right now. If you're not in pain, are you in joy? Is there something you could find joy in right now? Something small? Something huge? Could you see one thing today and appreciate it?

And if you're able to do that, I welcome you to share what you appreciate here.